Echoes in the Columbine Archive

I think the timing of when those words were spoken matters a lot. They came right after the tragedy, when emotions were raw and overwhelming, and I don’t think any of us can fully grasp what Eric’s parents were going through in that moment.

“ His staff members drove Katherine and Wayne Harris to the Warwick Hotel in downtown Denver, checked them in under Armistead’s name, and waited for him to arrive. When he walked into the room, Katherine Harris was curled into a fetal position and sobbing. Wayne Harris came up to the investigator and said, “Just flush him!” Armistead’s job was to keep the couple secure for the next few weeks, as they moved into and out of a series of hotels. During that time, he watched as “some of the nicest people I’ve ever met” tried to accept the horror of what their son had done. “The father and mother,” he says, “were collateral damage in Eric’s crime. I don’t think people understand what that really means and how many others are affected by major crimes: families, victims, first responders, judges, juries, law enforcement, witnesses, lawyers and private investigators. After things began to settle down, the parents went back and lived in their home. The neighbors made a point of running off the press so they’d be left alone. I thought that was commendable.”

With that in mind, a year later, they officially published a statement leading up the the anniversary of Columbine.

“We continue to be profoundly saddened by the suffering of so many that has resulted from the acts of our son. We loved our son dearly, and search our souls daily for some glimmer of a reason why he would have done such a horrible thing. What he did was unforgivable and beyond our capacity to understand. The passage of time has yet to lessen the pain. We are thankful for those who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers.

– Wayne and Kathy Harris.”

This comment was made a longer time after the tragedy, giving it time for them to process it.

As for the Harris family, I personally wouldn’t say they were particularly attentive parents. The fact that Eric managed to keep so many disturbing things hidden in his room without them realizing is telling, especially since there were already repeated complaints about him from both the school and the Browns. They knew he had a website but never bothered to check it, which suggests they were somewhat disengaged. There’s also the incident where Wayne discovered one of Eric’s bombs, got rid of it, but then handed the kit back to him. The gun shop who called his house phone about the order of ammo and Eric’s father not questioning it.

They could have most likely prevented it, had they intervened timely.

On the other hand, they did try to get him professional help through therapy and medication.

From what I recall, Wayne even wrote that he felt people were unfairly targeting Eric as a scapegoat, which shows he was wrestling with the situation in his own way. And in Eric’s journals, he mentioned wishing his dad had gone with him to the gun show so they could have bonded, which at least hints that Eric longed for that deeper connection.

When it comes to how they responded afterward, I think the public has often treated them unfairly. They were criticized no matter what they did. When they met with the Mausers, they acknowledged their pain and Wayne admitted that Eric was a psychopath and they accepted that now.

But imagine if they had defended Eric?
People would have attacked them for being insensitive. Yet if they condemned him too harshly, others would accuse them of being unloving parents. There was no way to “win” in the court of public opinion.

Even years later, in 2010 Wayne referred to “our son, Eric, who died at Columbine” on his military website. That doesn’t sound like a father who disowned his child completely. It makes me think the family has chosen to keep alive the version of Eric they knew privately, apart from the one the world remembers. I don’t think his forgotten by his parents or family.

The reality is, nothing they could say publicly would ever satisfy everyone. If they spoke about missing Eric, people would remind them of the victims parents. If they tried to humanize him, they’d be accused of excusing his actions. If they focused on condemning him, they’d be called cold. If they tried to move forward, they’d be labeled uncaring. Any response would be criticised from some angle. No matter what.
I do feel some sympathy for the Harris family. I don’t doubt at all, that they carry grief and remorse every single day.
Grief for their son, and remorse for the ways they failed to see just how troubled he was, as I mentioned earlier. They were probably hoping it would be better once Eric graduated, but little did they know it would escalate that wildly.
Living with that knowledge as parents must be unbearable, which probably explains why they’ve stayed so private and quiet. Out of the public eye and public judgement.

As for Eric’s remains, officials held onto his ashes for some time after his cremation. At one point, they were reportedly kept in the same storage as Timothy McVeigh’s, until McVeigh’s were scattered. Personally, I don’t believe Eric’s ashes were scattered with his. More likely, they’re either still with the family’s lawyer or have since been returned quietly to his family. But since the Harrises have never spoken about it publicly and continue to guard their privacy, we’ll probably never know for sure.

This is my take on it.